- “Death, taxes and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.”― Margaret Mitchell
- “…but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”― Benjamin Franklin
- “I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.”― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
- “Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.” ― Herman Wouk
- “I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.” – Mark Twain
- “I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I’m employed.” – N. J. Carmody
- “The best things in life are tax free.” – Joseph Bonkowski
- “I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged.” – Roger Jones
- “Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.” – Snoopy
- “Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.” – Adam Carolla
Adam Carolla
- ”Nothing in life is certain except death, taxes and the second law of thermodynamics.” – Seth Lloyd
- “You can’t have a rigid view that all new taxes are evil.” – Bill Gates
- “The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.” – William Feather
- “The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.” – Joe E. Lewis
- “Taxes grow without rain.” – Jewish Proverb
- “Even Albert Einstein reportedly needed help on his 1040 form.” – Ronald Reagan
- “For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.” — anonymous
- “Every advantage has its tax.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
- ‘Did you ever notice that when you put the words “The” and “IRS” together, it spells “THEIRS?”’ – Author Unknown
- “It was as true… as taxes is. And nothing’s truer than them.” – Charles Dickens
- ”I always felt thrilled and amazed that I could put actor on my tax form.” – Geoffrey Rush
- “I was never charged with tax evasion. I’ve never been a tax protester.” – Wesley Snipes
Wesley Snipes
- “Tax time is the perfect opportunity to jumpstart your spring-cleaning by tackling your financial to-do list.” – Alexa Von Tobel
- “There’s just one thing I can’t figure out. My income tax!” – Nat King Cole
- “An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.” – Fred Allen
- “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” –Douglas Adams
- “The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
- “I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” – Milton Berle
- “Solar power is the last energy resource that isn’t owned yet–nobody taxes the sun yet.” – Bonnie Raitt
- “Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.” – Alfred E. Neuman
- “In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.” – Austin O’Malley
- “Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.” – Charles Kettering
- “I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. Ican’t afford the taxes.” – Mick Jagger
- “On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.” – Tom Lehrer
- “I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!” – Anonymous
- “America is a land of untold wealth. Most of it is untold on the tax forms!” – Milton Berle
Milton Berle
- “You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.”–Morgan Stanley advertisement
- “Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
- “The United States has a system of taxation by confession.” – Hugo Black
- “A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait for tax time.” – Anonymous
- “The payment of taxes gives a right to protection.” – James M. Wayne
- “No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction.” – American Proverb
- “Taxation is the price which civilized communities pay for the opportunity of remaining civilized.” – Albert Bushnell Hart
- “Of all our natural resources, the first one to be exhausted may be the taxpayer.” – Anonymous
- “Nothing hurts more than having to pay an income tax, unless it is not having to pay an income tax.” – Thomas Robert Dewar
- “Taxes and golf are alike, you drive your heart out for the green, and then end up in the hole.” – Anonymous
- “The promise of yesterday are the taxes of today.” – Mackenzie King
- “The thing generally raised on city land is taxes.” – Charles Dudley Warner
- “When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. — they’ll find something.” – Doug Horton
- “Today’s dime is really a dollar with all the taxes deducted.” – Anonymous
- “The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.” – Denis Healey
- “Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.” – Oscar Wilde
Oscar Wilde
- “There’s always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little – and it’s always somebody else.” – Cullen Hightower
- “People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” – Anonymous
- “If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.” – Jeff Foxworthy
- “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke
- “Income tax time is when you test your powers of deduction.” – Shelby Friedman
- “It is getting harder and harder to support the government in the style to which it has become accustomed.” – Anonymous
- “The rope by which the great blocks of taxes are attached to any citizenry is simple loyalty.” – Stephen King
- “The tax code has just grown so complex and so ugly, like an unkempt hedge or lawn that never gets mowed.” – Alan Blinder
- “There is no simple tax, at least no simple tax that is also fair.” – Joel Slemrod
- “An old tax is a good tax.” – Old Folk Saying
- “The most pernicious of all taxes are the arbitrary.” – David Hume
- “Don’t get excited about a tax cut. It’s like a mugger giving you back car fare.” – Arnold H. Glasow
- “Taxes are an investment in America.” – Bill Gates
Bill Gates
- “Taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “All taxes are disliked, and the more directly they are imposed, the more hateful they become.” – William Waterson
- “What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.” – Thomas Paine
- “I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead, make my day.” – Ronald Reagan
- “All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.” – Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
- “It is a general idea, that when taxes are once laid on, they are never taken off.” – Thomas Paine
- “The current tax code is a daily mugging.” – Ronald Reagan
- “There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some.” – Martin A. Sullivan
- “Tax complexity itself is a kind of tax.” – Max Baucus
- “Philosophy teaches a man that he can’t take it with him; taxes teach him he can’t leave it behind either.” – Mignon McLaughlin
Mignon McLaughlin
- “The power of taxing people and their property is essential to the very existence of government.” — James Madison
- “To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.” — Edmund Burke
- “I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey
- “Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” — F. J. Raymond
- “A tax loophole is ‘something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.’”
— Russell B. Long - “Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” — Gerald Barzan
- “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” – Ronald Reagan
- “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain
- “Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.” – Jonathan Swift
- “Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst
Judith Viorst
- “Bats have no bankers and they do not drink and cannot be arrested and pay no tax and, in general, bats have it made.” – John Berryman
- “America’s got quite reasonable tax rates from an employee point of view.” – Jim Ratcliffe
- “Everybody should pay some tax, just as everybody should vote.” – Amity Shlaes
- “If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader.” – Thomas S. Foley
- “The Eva Longoria who worked at Wendy’s flipping burgers – she needed a tax break. But the Eva Longoria who works on movie sets does not.” – Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria
- “Unmarried couples should get married – that’s an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.” – John Whiting
- “Tax reform means, ‘Don’t tax you, don’t tax me. Tax that fellow behind the tree.” – Russell B. Long
- “What’s the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets ” — anonymous
- “If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”— Farmer’s Almanac
- “A person doesn’t know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.” – Anonymous
- “Of life’s two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.” – Anonymous
- “Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.” – Evan Esar
Evan Esar
- “Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.” – Lord Bramwell
- “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” – Jimmy Kimmel
- “This is the season of the year when we discover that we owe most of our success to Uncle Sam.” – The Wall Street Journal
- “Isn’t it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of May Day!” – Robert Knauerhase
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